It could have been a horror movie when…

…A demon squirrel attacked me.

Really?

Yes, and there were three witnesses.  It was the perfect setting for a horror movie.

It was a beautiful spring day my senior year in college…

(My husband interrupts this blog to point out that this happened a looonnnggg time ago.  He’s cute–I think I’ve mentioned that.)

Back to the story.  I was walking with a friend.  There were two one cute and one demon squirrels under a large oak tree just off the sidewalk.  The cute squirrel was eating an acorn.  The other demon squirrel was looking at us.  It was watching us.

The staring demon squirrel darted toward the sidewalk as if in a mad dash to cross a road before becoming road kill.   He overshot the sidewalk and we kept walking.

Suddenly, there was something on the back of my bare leg. I was wearing shorts, not jeans.  In a horror movie, I would think it was nothing harmful or that it was something playful–and I would be very wrong.

The demon squirrel had jumped onto my leg.  What the heck?  Tiny, gerbil-like demon squirrel claws were sliding down my leg.   I saw only the flash of the demon squirrel’s tail as I turned from side to side–bushy, brown tail no matter which way I turned.   I experienced a moment of complete paralysis.

The demon squirrel slid all the way down my bare leg and ran to the oak tree where it stared us down with glowing red eyes.

Maybe the demon squirrel’s eyes weren’t glowing red, but they would be in a horror movie.

My friend laughed.  Actually, I’m pretty sure he was ROTFLHAO.  He stomped at the demon squirrel.  The demon squirrel, holding on to the side of the tree, stomped back.  I kid you not.  Still laughing, my friend said, “Maybe it thought you were a tree.”

Not funny, friend.

The other two witnesses were as stunned as I was.  I’m pretty sure they were both ROTFLTAO after they showed a little concern for me and then disappeared into a building.

Over time, I’ve been able to forgive the demon squirrel for being possessed protective of its acorn tree.  You have no idea how glad I am that this happened before cell phone cameras and YouTube (yes, that was a looonngg time ago).  My friend would have captured it on video and posted it online before the adrenaline left me shaking and in shock.

Here’s video of an angry squirrel. I could’ve sworn its eyes glowed briefly. It could be the same demon squirrel.

(My 14-year-old just informed me that it couldn’t be the same squirrel because they. don’t. live. that. long.  It’s hard to blog with family looking over my shoulder.)

It’s a good thing my experience wasn’t a horror movie.   If it had been, the bystander who did nothing to assist the first victim would have been the second victim.  My friend might have been pelted with acorns by a demon-possessed squirrel with red, glowing eyes.

All rights reserved by LindaAdamsVA

My turn to ROTFLMAO.

Go see this illustration of a squirrel by Ryan Green (his squirrel-ish story is funny, too).  The bunny ears do seem to make the creature less scary.

My demon squirrel would benefit from ears like that.

A friend of mine told me that she chased squirrels the other day.  Then I realized that Tommie wasn’t chasing real squirrels.  You should read her blog about it.  It has a cool video of horses, too.  🙂

Do you have any squirrel or wild animal experiences stories to tell?  Share them in the comments below.

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16 thoughts on “It could have been a horror movie when…

  1. TommieLyn

    Wow, Diana! I never knew that squirrels go on the offensive! Thanks for the video. (Tommie Lyn will be VERY leery of going outside now, given that her trees are filled with squirrels she USED to think were cute and furry.)

    Reply
  2. Marcy Kennedy

    It’s a good thing it didn’t happen to me. I would have been panicking about rabies or some other disease for months. (But of course I wouldn’t have done anything about it because I’m more frightened of the giant needles they give to people who might be infected with rabies–talk about horror movie prop.)

    Reply
  3. rcahill111

    That is about as funny as it gets! And yes in reply to your friend’s blog, I do get caught chasing squirrels. Love the net and hate it at the same time!!!! Too much net too little time!!! Back to work!

    Reply
    1. Diana Beebe Post author

      Lol. I combined two text-speak words to say “Rolling on the floor laughing his a** off.” (It doesn’t have the right look to use LHBO. 🙂

      Reply
  4. Pauline Baird Jones

    I was sitting on a rock, waiting for the hubs by Chateau Lake Louise and a squirrel ran up on my knee. I looked it. It look at me. Probably for 30 seconds. Then it left. I had never heard of one running up a leg, though! I’m surprised you don’t have squirrel-mares. I had a face to face with a bear, but I was maybe five? Have had bear mares ever since. grin

    Reply
    1. Diana Beebe Post author

      Oh, you win the animal encounter story! I want to hear more about the bear. I haven’t had any squirrel-mares, but I don’t find them cute anymore.

      Reply
  5. Tara

    Love it! When I was about 12, playing in my front yard one day, I found a field mouse. It was so cuuute. And very friendly…. I let it climb into the palm of my hand, where it let me pet it. How cuuute. Next thing I knew, it had scampered up my arm around to the back of my neck and nested in my really, really long and thick hair. No kidding! I couldn’t get it to come out! The details of how the little creature was finally extricated are blurry – I was too surprised (or embarrassed) to keep things straight.

    Reply
    1. Diana Beebe Post author

      I can’t even imagine that happening! Thanks for sharing your cute (read “demon”) animal story. 🙂 I’m not sure who was more scared: you our the mouse.

      Reply
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