Tag Archives: fantasy

Are You Sure Mermaids Aren’t Real?

Today is a blogging milestone for me: This is my 100th post. I’m not sure anyone is as shocked as I am. I tried to think of a great way to celebrate. Of course, I’m revisiting one of my favorite topics: Mermaids!

Come celebrate at my new website. You can read the latest post about mermaid sightings. Sign up so you don’t miss any future posts, too.

Are You Sure Mermaids Aren’t Real?

Life-size self portrait of me as a mermaid

Life-size self portrait of me as a mermaid

Thor Isn’t a Native Texan…

But he got here as fast as he could.

If you’re a native Texan, you know what I mean.

When Debra Kristi said that Thor wanted to tour the world, I jumped at the chance to show him my little piece of Texas.

Thor thought it might be nice to have one of these lovely steeds go home with him.

Thor thought it might be nice to have one of these steeds go home with him.

The first thing he asked about was whether we had cows or horses.  Uh, no.

Horse stealing...Nasty business

But we have this lovely collection of model horses.  They were more his size than the real thing.  I lent him a hat to wear, too.  It wasn’t exactly a cowboy hat, but straw hats are nice.  He was afraid of messing up his hair though.

Real cowboys don’t worry about hat head.

Thor found himself in some trouble with the local law.  When he saw his “Wanted” poster, he knew it would be best to leave the horses at my house.

Horse rustling is nasty business.

One day, I took him to work so he could hang out with Spidey-Spud and Darth Tater in my office.  They showed him around my bookshelf and plants.  They took turns trying to convince Thor that they could hold his hammer.  They even offered up the light saber and web!

Thor wondered about the potato-shaped men...

Thor wondered about the potato-shaped men….

Thor, being the responsible god that he is, chose to keep his hammer to himself.

"I said, 'No!' You may not hold my hammer, strange potato men." He decided that he wanted potato salad and barbeque for lunch.

“I said, ‘No!’ You may not hold my hammer, strange potato men.”

Even with those eyes flashing in anger, I think he was trying to keep the spuds from embarrassing themselves when the hammer wouldn’t let them lift it.  Only one has the humility and integrity to wield it.  Just saying.

Then he decided that he wanted potato salad for lunch.

In honor of his godliness, I took him to an NBA basketball game with two of my besties (the witch and the vampire). It was the Dallas Mavericks against none other than the OKC Thunder.

He took in the crowd and asked, “All these scantily-clad women and other mortals came here to see me?”

Uh, no.

The god of thunder cheered his team to victory.

The god of thunder cheered his team to victory.

I got worried when he complained about the OKC team’s uniforms.  “How can they not include a bolt on the jerseys?” he asked.  I told him that it was better than the other ones where “Thunder” was written on the back of their shorts. (Think about it.)  The god of thunder was appeased when he saw so many lightning bolt shirts in the stands.  He was even more pleased to hear those fans cheer when the Thunder played well.

He was a bit of a stinker during the game.  Everytime the home crowed chanted, “Let’s go, Mavs,” he countered with, “O – K – C!”  At one point, he was so thunderously loud with threats to strike the arena that I thought one of the ushers might ask us to leave.  After a nail-biting overtime, the Thunder managed to win by two points.  Thor claimed the victory as his own and hailed the Thunder players as the best in the NBA (they are pretty good).  He taunted us on the entire drive home.  No humility there.

As a gracious guest (or maybe he was still giddy from his team’s win), he thanked me profusely for the look at Texas, short that it was.  I hope he wasn’t too disappointed that some of his wacky assumptions about Texans weren’t true or that he didn’t get to steal a horse.  😉

What would you do if you hosted a god or superhero?  Who would it be?  Come on….share!

Dream Cars and Drool…

The other day, I sat in my dream car. Sigh. Motor Trend’s Car of the Year.

Telsa Motors Model S.

The sleek lines, the amazing interior, the very cool door handles (they are flat against the door until you touch them). I had to restrain myself from flailing my arms in excitement. The screen behind the car says, “My eyes were wide and my jaw has dropped.” Sums it up nicely. Except for one thing…

Diana BeebeThe salesman in the showroom approached us. Here’s our conversation:
Sales guy: Do you have any questions?
Me: No, I’m just drooling.
Sales guy: *Puzzled look* then *hearty laughter* That is the best answer I’ve heard ever!
Husband: Get the girls through college first.

Kill joy.

I left the Santana Row Tesla Motors Design Studio willingly and with most of my dignity intact, much to my husband’s relief. I’m sure he had visions of my hanging onto the sleek, beautiful hood and clinging to it with desparation while begging for the sedan to return my love.

Ahem. Moving on while I have a shred of dignity left…

At dinner that night, a friend told us how he’d just gotten the delivery date for his own Model S.  We’d planned our visit too early.  I wouldn’t get to drive it.  *pout*

Could I invite myself back on the day he gets his beautiful, sleek Model S, so I could drive it?  And maybe pull a couple of fuses.  You must watch the video toward the bottom of the article.

My friend sent me that link with the note “For your drooling pleasure.”  I have it bad, don’t I?  Truthfully, I would be terrified to drive the car in that manner.

It reminded me of when I drove the Tesla Motors Roadster.

As if that’s not bad enough Tesla Motors also has the Model X. The ultimate crossover with the coolest doors ever.  My seven-year-old hopes that I’ll get that one so she can drive it someday.  Keep dreaming, kiddo.  You will not be parking that in a high school student parking lot.

I’ll keep dreaming, too.  I’ll try not to drool.  No promises.

What’s your dream car?  Have you ever owned your dream car?  What feature do you love about cars?

Dawn Just After Midnight

I’m not sure how it happened.  I might be a little crazy for agreeing to the outing.  Working on three hours of sleep here, sooo….

Movie poster from Wikipedia

My neighbors are great. I don’t know many people around here who can say they know and regularly talk to many of the people who share the same street name in their snail mail address.

So when Breaking Dawn Part 2 tickets went on sale, the instigator (we’ll call her L) said, “Let’s go!”

I have to admit that I thoroughly enjoyed reading the book series.  I did.  My BFF and I watch the ones that are out on DVD so we can revel in the story and make fun of the special effects.  (Seriously, the animated talking werewolves in Breaking Dawn Part 1 killed us.)

I’m working on three hours of sleep here.  Forgive my ramblings.  Back to the story.

L, P, C, and I went to the midnight showing of Breaking Dawn Part 1 last year.  Of course, we’d go to the last installment November 15-16.  L bought our tickets online for the 12:01 showing.

Last night at 10 pm, I left my warm, cozy house and walked down the street to meet up with my coven pack uh, neighbors.  I swear it was like a synchronized arrival like you see in movies…

A character walks down the street and meets up with her peeps as she goes.  They join her just as she arrives at their locations.

It happened just like that.  I walked down a few houses and met up with P and C.  Then M (one of the several teens who joined us) walked out and met up with me.  Then L and her daughter S with one of her friends in tow.  Seven crazy females piled into L’s SUV (yep, she bought the tickets and drove–instigator and enabler), and her teenage son and his friend followed in his car.

Yes, I did indeed just say “teenage son and his friend.”  They joined us at the movie theater.  Their sole purpose for tagging along was to talk to girls at the theater.  They didn’t even sit with us when we got there.  The nerve.  They went into the theater that was full of girls rather than sit with us in the half-full theater.

Then we sat and talked and looked at Facebook in the dark for an hour and a half. At midnight, we were ready for the movie to start.  Some of us (not me) did the potty dance and excused themselves with 20 minutes of movie trailers to avoid.

My coven pack neighbors, photo courtesy of the one in pink. 😉

A couple walked in and sat down in front of us.  C and I looked at each other.  She said, “Seriously, they just walk in at midnight and find a seat?”  Who knew that we didn’t have to get there with enough time to check into security be able to find a decent seat this year?  Last year, we were way early and had to sit in the fourth row.  Waaaay too close.

No spoilers from me today, I promise, because I get to go see it again with my BFF.  I will say that it was the best of the five movies!  Something happens at the end and had the entire theater screaming and cheering and freaking out–a twist none of us saw coming.  There were grown men, who most likely didn’t read the book, who cheered and gasped and freaked out with the rest of us.

It was a scene that might not have read well in the book had it been written but was perfect for the movie.  Wow!

When I got home, I pulled the book out and read through the last chapter to see just how different the twist was from the book.  Oh, it’s different.  It is probably the only time I’ve ever said that a movie outdid its book, especially for a series that underdid its books in the first couple of installments. (Is “underdid” even a word? Three hours of sleep here, people. Move along.)

That’s all I say about that for fear of letting something slip.  I don’t need the Spoiler Volturi tracking me down for breaking that rule.

If you want to read in-depth descriptions of all the characters, you must read Debra Kristi’s blog: Twilight Saga’s Breaking Dawn Breakdown: Immortal Monday.

Are you going to see it?  Have you already seen it?  I’d love to hear what you think, but no spoilers just yet.  😉

My Mermaid Gets a Pet

My family has dogs.  Two of them.  They are both very much part of the family, even Demon Dog.  Everyone should experience the joys and responsibility of owning a pet at least once in his or her life.

My mermaid laughed when I told her I thought she should have a pet.  She asked, “I don’t do windows, why do I need the responsibility of a pet?”

Well, because pets are loving and huggable and fun.

“And they require care and feeding,” she pointed out.  She laughed and pointed at me again. “Besides, I’m a mermaid, hello?”

Pets offer companionship and love.  My dogs are almost always close to one of us in the house.  They hug by leaning into a good ear rub.  They greet us when we come home.

“Have you seen the underwater creatures around here?  Not many ears.  And I’m always home.”

She was really resisting this idea to have a pet.  I could find her a pet that was self-sufficient and pretty and had ears that could be rubbed.  She rolled her eyes.

Then, I gave her this:

Created with the http://www.dolldivine.com Merpony Maker

My mermaid squealed with delight.  “My very own merpony?”

Yep.

“I promise to take care of it and feed it and do all the work.”

Yeah, right. We parents know how that one will end.

If you’re checking, here are my ROW80 goals for the week:

  • Finish the minutes for the PTA meeting and send them for approval.  I haven’t even touched this one!
  • The back garden beds are ready, so now I need to plant kale, spinach, and carrot seeds.  Finished just before cold snap! 🙂
  • Write as if I’m not a NaNoWriMo rebel this week.  😀  Training at work makes for long days and short evenings.  Sigh.
  • Make chicken soup and venison stew for the week.  Chicken soup–check!
  • Get back to 3 or more blogging posts a week.  Check!

A Big Thank You and ROW80

First I have to send out a huge THANK YOU to everyone who voted for my Marce pony in Rebecca Enzor’s Ponyfest12.  I won!  All the ponies in Ponyfest12 and their stories are incredible.  My to-be-read list has grown considerably now!

My family and friends have been so supportive.  Late last night while I was hanging out after a late dinner with friends, one asked me about “that pony thing” I was doing.  None of them had voted (most hadn’t even heard of this event).  It looked synchronized.  They all pulled out their smart phones and voted.  🙂

Last week was great for Ponyfest, but not so great for my ROW80 goals.

So far this week:

  • I got very little writing done in the second half of the week.  This week, I need to research the geography and mythology of the location in my middle grade WIP so I can fill in plot holes in preparation for a weekend of writing.
  • Submit and query my adult fantasy manuscript, HUNTER MOON. Query agents. Just started making a list.  I didn’t do much with this last week due to many other things that came up.

  • Work out at least 4 times a week.
  • Read We Are Not Alone–The Writer’s Guide to Social Media by Kristen Lamb.
  • Weather permitting goal:  Plant carrot, spinach, and lettuce seeds to accompany the broccoli plants. Time permitting, too.
  • Post at least 3 times a week here at Mermaids Don’t Do Windows.

How are you doing on your own goals?

My Very Own My Little Pony

I know, two posts, in one day?  I couldn’t help it.  I decided to join Rebecca Enzor’s custom pony contest: #PonyFest12.  When I read her post last week, I decided to create a pony for my main character in my unpublished adult fantasy novel, which is going out for submissions and queries this week.  And now that I’ve done as much polishing on the shiny manuscript, I decided to throw my warrior pony into the ring.

Meet Marce Archerwood, a character 15 years in the making:

Description:  Marce has moonink (tattoos) that glow blue only during rituals or as determined by the Three goddesses.  These marks include her clan-specific tangles, and the arrows on her arms are her successful hunts (both animal and man).  The cutie mark is her birthmark of the three crescent moons.  Her hair has a moon-white streak and is always braided.  Purple represents her Archerwood Clan color. Her eyes are blue-green.

Book tagline: Marce Archerwood is a champion archer and hunter who needs an heir, but she must decide whether to trust (and even love) her consort or execute him for his goddess-given gifts, which are illegal for men to have.

UPDATE: Since the voting doesn’t start until October 5, Rebecca said I could squeeze in Marce’s consort, Kevvan, to accompany her.

Description: Kevvan is tall, blond, and cleanshaven.  His blue eyes sparkle a little while he maintains a neutral expression.  His inked armbands indicate his high-ranking status, but the black swirls that cut across the color mean he has been sold. The ink that flows across his shoulder onto his back hide his triple-crescent birthmark and protect him from certain execution.

I would love your support to win my very own custom pony just like my design of my book character.  The contest runs from October 5th through 13th.  Please check Rebecca’s blog (the link at the top of the page) and vote for Marce and Kevvan from HUNTER MOON.

Because My Life Isn’t Busy Enough: #WANA1012 and #ROW80

Here at Mermaids Don’t Do Windows, I don’t usually write about writing.  Today, I’m making an exception because I have some goals to post for October 1st.  I promise something thought provoking (I hope) for TINSTAAFL Tuesday.

Blogging Dreams

The day I realized that I must start a blog was the day after I returned home from DFWCON (DFW Writers’ Conference) in May.  This conference opened my eyes to the opportunities out there.

Then I started having dreams.  For three nights after the conference, I dreamed about blogging. I don’t remember anything about the dreams other than the distinctive feeling that I had to start a blog.  I still knew nothing about blogging.

I found Kristen Lamb’s blog.  I attended two of her sessions at the conference, found out she went to my alma mater (icing!), and joined WANATribe The next logical step was to take her blogging class.

Still, there were more blogging dreams.  Oh. My. Goodness.  Really?  Enough already.  I got the message.

So was born Mermaids Don’t Do Windows.  I hope you are enjoying my fledgling attempts.  I have enjoyed being here and meeting great blogging friends.

Did I mention I still have blogging dreams every so often?  Yep.  Blogging for Brand class 1012, here I come.  I have so much to learn and accomplish.  And I’d really like for the blogging dreams to stop harrassing me.

Writing Dreams: #ROW80

October 1 is also the beginning of Round 4 of A Round of Words in 80 days — ROW80.  Since I’m writing, I might as well make myself accountable with the support of other writers who also have families, other jobs, housework, stuff going on — lives.

I set my own pace and my own goals.  I post them here for the entire world to see.  Here goes:

  • Write at least 750 words every day on my middle grade WIP.  Otherwise, my daughter will get very, very mad at me (she’s my #1 beta reader).
  • Submit and query my adult fantasy manuscript, HUNTER MOON.  It’s all shiny.  *pet pet*
  • Work out 45 minutes to an hour at least 4 times a week.
  • Read a craft book. We Are Not Alone–The Writer’s Guide to Social Media might be a good place to start since I’m taking Kristen Blogging for Brand class.  (I’ve been reading it slowly.)
  • Plant carrot, spinach, and lettuce seeds to accompany the broccoli plants.
  • Post at least 3 times a week here at Mermaids Don’t Do Windows.

Those are my goals.  I may tweak them as I go, but that’s the beauty of ROW80.  I can adapt when life happens.

Everyone is busy.  I’d love to hear what you’re up to.  It’s your turn for some pimping and promoting in the comments section.  What are your current projects and goals?  Do you have any completed goals that you are especially proud of? Share some linky love.

Demon Dog: Adopt One

click, click, click, click, click

I stop.  The sound stops.  I continue walking.

click, click, click, click, click

The sound keeps pace with my steps and reverberates on the hardwood floor.  I stop.  The sounds stops.

Is it a ghost or monster or psycho following me in my own home?

If this were a horror movie, I would turn around and see something terrifying, something that would scare me to death.  Instead, I see the creature of the night adorable dog.

The creature followed my every move. I couldn’t get away…

She’s cute, right?  Don’t be fooled.  Haven’t you seen MONTY PYTHON AND THE HOLY GRAIL?    That bunny rabbit had “nasty, pointy teeth.”

This elderly furry thing that my daughter adopted from the SPCA has the latent ability to kill every living organism in a 5-mile radius clear a room with her, um, stench.  I found a sensitive-stomach kibble that killed the horror movie monster–at least until the dog eats something she shouldn’t.

This dog also has the ability to sit and stare.  It makes us wonder if there isn’t a Cujo somewhere inside that little 18-pound furball.

The creature stared. Silent and deadly.

In all seriousness, my daughter did a loving thing by convincing us to let her adopt this 11-year-old dog.  (Granted, my husband was out of the country at the time.  In my defense, he could have said, “No, we already have a dog” in any text message or phone call.  He didn’t.)   My daughter paid for the adoption fee and most of the supplies with her own money.  She even parted with old toys in a garage sale to earn enough money to pay us back for other doggie incidentals.

If you’re thinking about adopting an older dog, there are a few things you should know so you don’t have a horror movie waiting to happen:

1. It will take awhile for the dog to get acclimated.  Did she miss her previous owner?  I think so.  She didn’t make a sound for the first two months.  She watched our first dog constantly.  The day she saw another dog walking by our house, she flipped.  This little poodle mix had quite a bark.  It was about that same time that she started playing with her dog toys.  She was incredibly playful.  Some dogs settle in sooner.  Don’t be surprised by the dead calm stare.

2.  You may have to change the dog’s food.  There are no words to describe the noxious fumes that wafted throughout the house killing us slowly.  Whatever you do, don’t feed it after midnight.  (Did you see the movie Gremlins? Gizmo was cute.  His fed-late-at-night offspring, not so much.)

3. Prepare to care for an older dog. Sigh.  She doesn’t always make it until we get home from work or through the night.  In the middle of the night during the bewitching hour, she lets me know with quiet whines haunting sounds that she needs to go out.  She also didn’t know that the grass was the place to go.  My daughter gets to clean the patio often.  At least the new food made her “presents” easier to clean up.

4. Discover the dog’s tricks.  She doesn’t come when called even though we kept her name.  She wasn’t crate trained (still isn’t).  She didn’t sit, shake paws, or lay down. With little treats, my daughter learned that her new dog wasn’t as untrained as we thought.  Also, if you have another dog in the house, the new dog will probably follow the other dog’s lead while she insidiously infiltrates the family.

5. Love the dog.  My daughter felt compelled to rescue this dog.  She loved her from the moment she saw her.  This “pup” is just the right size for my younger daughter to walk, too.  Quirky, but adorable.  I got nothing for the horror movie theme here.  She’s a good dog.

Links:

  • My friend Nicole recently posted about her newly-adopted dog.
  • Click here to see what the ASPCA says about older dogs that need new “forever homes.”
  • The Senior Dogs Project website has some good information, too. I don’t completely agree with their #10 on the top 10 list though.  It’s rare for both dogs (now 11 and 12 years old) to sleep through the night, unless I stay up late and let them out before I go to bed.   And to think I was thrilled when the kids stopped waking me up every night.

My daughter and I joke about the “demon dog” and her strange, horror-movie ways, but we both agree that she is sweet and was worth adopting.  I kinda like the click, click, click sound she makes when she walks on the hardwood floors.

Do you any pet adoption stories to tell?  Please share in the comments below.  🙂

It could have been a horror movie when…

…A demon squirrel attacked me.

Really?

Yes, and there were three witnesses.  It was the perfect setting for a horror movie.

It was a beautiful spring day my senior year in college…

(My husband interrupts this blog to point out that this happened a looonnnggg time ago.  He’s cute–I think I’ve mentioned that.)

Back to the story.  I was walking with a friend.  There were two one cute and one demon squirrels under a large oak tree just off the sidewalk.  The cute squirrel was eating an acorn.  The other demon squirrel was looking at us.  It was watching us.

The staring demon squirrel darted toward the sidewalk as if in a mad dash to cross a road before becoming road kill.   He overshot the sidewalk and we kept walking.

Suddenly, there was something on the back of my bare leg. I was wearing shorts, not jeans.  In a horror movie, I would think it was nothing harmful or that it was something playful–and I would be very wrong.

The demon squirrel had jumped onto my leg.  What the heck?  Tiny, gerbil-like demon squirrel claws were sliding down my leg.   I saw only the flash of the demon squirrel’s tail as I turned from side to side–bushy, brown tail no matter which way I turned.   I experienced a moment of complete paralysis.

The demon squirrel slid all the way down my bare leg and ran to the oak tree where it stared us down with glowing red eyes.

Maybe the demon squirrel’s eyes weren’t glowing red, but they would be in a horror movie.

My friend laughed.  Actually, I’m pretty sure he was ROTFLHAO.  He stomped at the demon squirrel.  The demon squirrel, holding on to the side of the tree, stomped back.  I kid you not.  Still laughing, my friend said, “Maybe it thought you were a tree.”

Not funny, friend.

The other two witnesses were as stunned as I was.  I’m pretty sure they were both ROTFLTAO after they showed a little concern for me and then disappeared into a building.

Over time, I’ve been able to forgive the demon squirrel for being possessed protective of its acorn tree.  You have no idea how glad I am that this happened before cell phone cameras and YouTube (yes, that was a looonngg time ago).  My friend would have captured it on video and posted it online before the adrenaline left me shaking and in shock.

Here’s video of an angry squirrel. I could’ve sworn its eyes glowed briefly. It could be the same demon squirrel.

(My 14-year-old just informed me that it couldn’t be the same squirrel because they. don’t. live. that. long.  It’s hard to blog with family looking over my shoulder.)

It’s a good thing my experience wasn’t a horror movie.   If it had been, the bystander who did nothing to assist the first victim would have been the second victim.  My friend might have been pelted with acorns by a demon-possessed squirrel with red, glowing eyes.

All rights reserved by LindaAdamsVA

My turn to ROTFLMAO.

Go see this illustration of a squirrel by Ryan Green (his squirrel-ish story is funny, too).  The bunny ears do seem to make the creature less scary.

My demon squirrel would benefit from ears like that.

A friend of mine told me that she chased squirrels the other day.  Then I realized that Tommie wasn’t chasing real squirrels.  You should read her blog about it.  It has a cool video of horses, too.  🙂

Do you have any squirrel or wild animal experiences stories to tell?  Share them in the comments below.