Category Archives: Don’t Get Me Wrong

27 Dresses…Maybe just 4 and some curtains

“The best part about it is that you can shorten it, and wear it again.”

“Definitely, so true!”

I loved the movie 27 Dresses. It’s fun and silly, and I can watch it over and over again.

It reminds me of some of the bridesmaids dresses I’ve worn, but none were as bad as the ones I made my wedding party wear. ūüôā

27 Dresses…Maybe just 4 and some curtains

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Just When We Thought It Was Safe to Go Back in the Water

Animal Planet did it again. They have “new evidence” that mermaids are real.

Please join me at the new¬†Mermaids Don’t Do Windows blog website, and subscribe by email so you don’t miss any posts. I don’t update this site very often. ūüôā

Just When We Thought It Was Safe to Go Back in the Water

Are You Sure Mermaids Aren’t Real?

Today is a blogging milestone for me: This is my 100th post. I’m not sure anyone is as shocked as I am. I tried to think of a great way to celebrate. Of course, I’m revisiting one of my favorite topics: Mermaids!

Come celebrate at my new website. You can read the latest post about mermaid sightings. Sign up so you don’t miss any future posts, too.

Are You Sure Mermaids Aren’t Real?

Life-size self portrait of me as a mermaid

Life-size self portrait of me as a mermaid

Things that I’ve seen but wish I hadn’t…My eyes! The burn!

There are certain things in this world that are not meant for human vision.

Photo by Lynn Kelley via WANA Commons

Photo by Lynn Kelley via WANA Commons

The Plumber’s Butt–on a Motorcycle

Look away from that new moon while the nice man fixes the sink. But what do you do when the sight is directly in front of you while driving?

The motorcycle passenger was wearing the black-lace¬†thong and muffin top. I don’t have anything against muffin tops or black lace, but the combination with the new moon…*shudder*

Hope they turn and go a different way. If they don’t, you must take a different route or risk being scarred for life.

The Shirtless Jogger

I’m so glad people are out jogging.¬† That’s wonderful! If you don’t mind, put on a shirt. I don’t want to see a half naked, gorilla¬†man or a woman wearing a sports bra. I don’t care how fit or unfit they are.¬†Maybe, don’t.

The Fly

Seriously. If you’re going to be drunk enough to dance like a dork with your friends at¬†a NBA basketball game (where you risk being seen by 20,000 people if you make the jumbotron), please have the courtesy to zip your fly. Awkward!

At least you’re too drunk to remember it later (the bad dancing and your XYZ). I, on the other hand, won’t be able to get rid of the image even after gouging out my eyes.

There you have it.¬† Three things that my eyes wish they hadn’t seen this week.

Have you ever seen something that you wished you could unsee? (Keep it PG, please.)

It’s Just a Light Snack!

I woke up to the sound of the toilet paper roll being spun. It was the middle of the night–no one was in the bathroom.¬† Everyone else was sleeping.

The toilet paper roll bumped the wall again.  And again.

I got up to investigate.¬† By the way, don’t ever do that in a horror movie. (You know what happens to the people who investigate the sound in horror movies.)

The bathroom was pitch black–the perfect place for a scary person or a demon to hide. (Everybody’s got to go, even demons, right?)

The noise continued.

When I turned on the light, this was the carnage:

Diana Beebe's Blog

…and the face that caused it:

It wasn't me. It was the demon dog...

It wasn’t me. It was the demon dog

Not a demon or slasher-movie villain! *wipes brow*

Hey, Eater of homework and valentines, the toilet paper is not hanging there so you can eat it like corn on the cob!

Another half of a toilet paper roll wasted. (Well, would you use paper that the dog slobbered on?)

Think about that for a second…

I didn’t think so.¬† ūüėÄ Now I have to take the rolls off before bed. Sigh.

What was the craziest thing one of your pets ate or did?  Any ideas for using the shredded toilet paper?

Dishwasher Deathmatch

Last week, I told you about¬†lessons learned from my dishwasher. I missed a few things in that post. First, I really dislike handwashing dishes. Wait, I probably said that, didn’t I?¬† The real take away since then?¬† Replacing that fuse is a deathmatch in six rounds.

You see, I wrote that first post several days ago with the luxury of time to make me forget about the last time we changed the fuse. All weekend, I was drinking from a firehose at WANACon, and my husband was working on his truck.¬†The fuse¬†didn’t get fixed.

This is not a one-person job.

Oh, it is on, Dishwasher!

Oh, it is on, Dishwasher!

If you have a Samsung dishwasher, there is a good chance you’ll need to know how to do this if it stops working for no apparent reason (unless you’re willing to pay a handyman). Even if you pay a handyman, you’ll still have to do Deathmatch Rounds 2 and 6 and probably 5.

Deathmatch Round 1

Gather the tools:

  • Crescent wrenches (we had two–not sure if we used them both)
  • Screwdrivers (flathead and Phillips)
  • Pliers (I’m not sure what my husband used these for.)
  • The new fuse (pointless activity without it)
  • Old towels (Lots of them to mop up the water that will drain from the dishwasher)
  • At least 5 hands (two people can handle most of it, but we needed a third person.)

Deathmatch Round 2

Now that you have all the tools, empty all the cabinets in your kitchen. Kidding!¬† Just empty everything under the sink and the cabinets that the pipes run through.¬† Our dishwasher is two cabinets away from the sink. I couldn’t bear to take a picture of that mess, but I did take one of the hidden treat stash that we found:

I don't even want to know how old that stuff was...

I don’t even want to know how old that stuff was…

Deathmatch Round 3

Turn off the water under the sink.

Don't forget this step...

Don’t forget this step… This shows the water is on.

Decouple both the intake and drain pipes. This is what ours look like:

In the cabinet next to the cabinet next to the dishwasher

In the cabinet next to the cabinet next to the dishwasher

Some water will leak from the pipes, so have a towel ready. We also used a casserole dish to catch most of the water.

Pull the tubing through the holes into the cabinet next door.¬† Be prepared for more leakage in the next cabinet over–unless you have only one cabinet to worry about. You need enough slack in the tubing to be able to pull the dishwasher out.

In the cabinet next to the dishwasher

In the cabinet next to the dishwasher…

Deathmatch Round 4

Unscrew the dishwasher baseplate. Rock and pull the sides until the dishwasher is free of the cabinetry.¬† If it doesn’t want to come out, check the side for a clip that’s keeping it in place. (We remembered that one after much use of creative language.) Be careful of the padding around the top.

Deathmatch Round 5

Use towels to get as much water as possible out of the inside of the dishwasher. If that someone helping you says, “Oh, that’s not much water. Don’t worry about it,” then slap him on the back of the head (Gibbs style¬†from NCIS), and dry out the inside of the dishwasher.¬† (Yes, I should have done both!)

Stand in front of the dishwasher and lean it forward at a 45-degree angle. If you missed the last step of drying out the standing dishwater, you now have wet socks and water running all over the floor.¬†This when I yelled for The Mockingbird to bring more towels because I didn’t have enough.

She came in handy (there’s that fifth hand) when we realized that my husband was under the dishwasher (unscrewing the fusebox plate), I was holding it up (it was heavy after awhile), and the fuse was on the counter (not the place it needed to be).

How can something this small wreak so much havoc?

How can something this small wreak so much havoc?

After the new fuse goes in, reverse the process.

Deathmatch Round 6

Clean up a huge mess (all the while wondering how that much crap fit in the cabinets), mop the floor, and¬†load the dishwasher with all the dishes you didn’t feel like handwashing earlier.

I’m not sure who won this deathmatch. This was a traumatic experience for me. All that fixing and cleaning at the same time… ūüėÄ

I didn’t get a picture of the dishwasher’s nether parts. I imagine if I’d asked my husband to snap a photo while he was down there with old dishwasher water pooling nearby, he might have smacked me on the back of the head when his hands were free. As I’m snapping the other shots, he said, “Let me take it all apart for you again so you can get that picture. NOT.”

Good luck!

No people or dishwashers were injured during the making of this blog.