When Distant Relatives Visit

It’s the holiday season, and people visit family and friends.  How do you prepare for those…uh, distant relatives who come to visit?  You know the ones I’m talking about.  They are difficult to accommodate and have strange eating habits.  Don’t even think about the Neanderthal-like hygiene practices. *shiver*

Where are these nine-feet (or taller, even) cousins going to sleep?

I think I’ll rig up an extra large hammock between the trees in the backyard.  No, that won’t work because the winter seedlings are slowly working their way up.  I wouldn’t want our guest to step in the garden.  Maybe, we’ll have to borrow a huge tent.

If the thought of preparing meals for the crowd everyday starts to overwhelm, we can think about the edibles we have growing outside.  I don’t mean the seedlings and baby broccoli which barely survived housing the offspring of negligent, flighty parents.  (They could’ve at least waited for the caterpillars to hatch before they flew away somewhere to whatever it is butterflies do after they lay eggs on baby broccoli.)

No, these guests require a special diet.  They don’t like any processed foods–everything must be natural.  It’s a good thing that our yard has a variety of dandelions and clover.  The neighborhood has lots of wild rabbits, too–our newest family members will feel right at home.

(Note to self: Warn the neighbors to bring in their cats.)

Put out the best towels.  On second thought, hide the best towels and put out all the old ones, even the ones that we use to dry off the dogs.

(Note to self: Board the dogs at a kennel for the weekend.)

So who are Cousins George, Bob, and Fred that I fear for my furry kids’ lives?

Bigfoot.

If they are anything like Harry from Harry and the Hendersons, then I’d worry more about my house.

What a great holiday card!

What a great holiday card!

These are the mythological creatures of forest wildernesses.  They are our close relatives.

Their DNA proves it. Yep.  Some scientists in Texas have sequenced the DNA of bigfoot. Their findings are controversial though.  (Ya think?)   They claim human females cross-bred with unknown primates.  Some 15,000 years later, those descendants should have human rights.

Hmmm…  Well, it seems we will have to wait for more conclusive evidence and test results before we need to give Fred, Bob, and George voting rights or a place at the holiday dinner table.

Their cousins from Everest are getting a lot of attention, too.  It seems the Sasquatch is mighty elusive.

For other interesting ideas, go check out what Debra Kristi says about Bigfoot at her blog.  There are other interesting links to read, too.

I’d love to see mermaids in real life, too–maybe from a distance.  Oh, wait!  Mermaids are half human.  Does that mean….

Nevermind.

What do you think about Bigfoot, Sasquatch, and Yeti stories? Are they close relatives, stuff made of myth, or seriously clever creatures?

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11 thoughts on “When Distant Relatives Visit

  1. Pam Thompson

    Did you know there is a science for studying these things? Alright – Pseudoscience –
    I learned about it from my Great Nephew who wants to be a Cryptozoologist so he can study Bigfoot, the Loch Ness Monster, and other such creatures.

    Reply
  2. Debra Kristi

    Thanks for the link love, Diana. You can find all kinds of video on YouTube that you can use to fool yourself into believing mermaids are real if you want to. Even a really well done documentary by Animal Planet. Wouldn’t it be something if these things were someday proven to be fact? As for relatives at the holidays, it truly taxes my brain just thinking about everyone’s diet. My thinking process shuts down. I vote to go out to eat.

    Reply
    1. Diana Beebe Post author

      You’re welcome! Thanks for idea in the first place. 🙂
      There is such a wealth of information and “truth” out there. LOL. The Animal Planet one fooled a lot of people, too.

      Reply
  3. Ryan King

    Myths typically come from a truthful event but as they are retold, they take a life of their own. Are they more than myth? No one can say either way. I prefer to think there’s a possibly they exist because we discover new species on this planet all the time and I’m sure there’s many more things we don’t know about.

    Reply
    1. Diana Beebe Post author

      Great point! I completely agree with you. Who knows, right? There are so many species we have yet to discover. It’s fun to imagine they do exist and are smart enough to avoid detection. 🙂

      Reply
  4. J Holmes

    Hi Diana. Thank You. “human females cross-bred with unknown primates.” This explains so much about the world that I live in. I had quietly suspected something like this all along. In fact my no altogether polite grandmother made suggestions along these lines now and then.

    Reply

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